I guess my first thing to say is that I went to a catholic school and church where I first heard about Jesus when I was 5. I loved to hear the stories of Jesus and I wanted to talk to God. I went to mass every day and to confession each Saturday. I thought God was living in the altar at the front of the church.

When I was 10 I came to the point of thinking there must be no God because he never answered me.

At 22 there came a big time in my life when I found out that my mother had cancer. I watched a big woman go down to skin and bone. She was always my life for me; I was a mummy’s boy, who loved Saturday mornings!!  That was when she used to do all her cooking and baking, I used to help in my way. I watched her from when I was young, these were the best days of my life, the happy times. She used to tell me stories of how hard her life was, all the ups and down but to move from that spot would have taken an earthquake.

I always used hold her hand when we were out, this woman was the light of my life and I was watching her fade away. I was working all day and when she was in hospital we would go to see her each night, I was working early and finish at 2pm and dad would meet me in town and we started travelling to see her, it would take something like 2 hours there and 2 back again.

I would not change one second of that now, just to be near her was all I wanted. At last they let her home. They had a sister or a nun come in each day just to help out, she was a blessing, mum enjoyed her company and she loved Elvis so she could not be that bad. I remember they said she wouldn’t live the summer out. I got on my knees for the first time for a long time asking god to let her see Christmas with us. Christmas eve came and my sister said it was very close now. I went to my room again with big tears and fell to my knees and thanked God for giving us this and to let her go because she was so much pain. As I said it my heart broke but couldn’t keep her here much longer because it wasn’t fair on her.  She died at 2am Christmas day and dad came in and told me, I sat with him as we waited for them to come and take the body. I did not cry until he came out of bedroom with her ring and put in his wallet. I broke down, I had lost my mum, but dad had lost a wife he had known and loved for 40 years, and that’s what broke me!! Even now my eyes fill with tears just thinking about it.

About 2 years later I started to go to a couple’s house who had been friends for years. One night we were talking and both had become Christian a few months earlier. They talked me into making a commitment before the lord or some may even call it ‘saved’.

I started to go to a Pentecostal church which was very lively compared to a catholic church. I enjoyed it for a few weeks, until I saw things I did not like, so I stopped going but kept reading the bible. I went back drinking again a month down the line there was nothing for me.

I went a through a bad night, at the end of it I had one thing on my mind that was to end it all. On the way home I cursed God for doing it to me.

But on getting home I fell to my knees, asking him to forgive me.  I remember asking for something really important, if you can change my life today I will follow you.

Next day got up and nothing seemed to have changed.  I went to help out at community house as I did everyday with old people. There was a woman who came in, I called her a bible basher, she told me of a baptism service being held at her church. And a bell rang in my head, the Bible says to be baptised is to die to yourself and live for Christ. So I knew that was what I wanted, so I went to see the pastor of the church and told him I want to die but to me and live like Christ. He said ok it’s happening on Sunday night.  I went home and dad said no way will you get me to go. But he came and for the first time in my whole life after the baptism I felt alive and also for the first time in my life felt loved.

A few months later my dad got saved and baptised too, a bit later I was healed of a hurt from a young age and this allow my dad and I to get close for the first time for 10 years. To rush through to the present for you, I was married and about 4 years later, dad became ill but when he died, he died a friend, brother and dad.  My one regret is that I had just got to know him for a few years.  I did not feel sad like I did with my mum because I knew where he was going but for the first time in a long time, I felt lonely. Although my wife and I were married for 7 years, it was 6 years of hell, but that’s another story.

To move on to today I am now remarried. We met on the internet in a chat room in September 2002 and were married in May 3, 2003. We are both Christians. Please look out for more of the story of my past, but first let me share something with you.  I met Jesus when I needed him the most, it was not a mood I was in, but a new life I was looking for and let me share with you, He can change your life too, from where you are at now and give you something a lot better. Revelations 3 verse 20 says:

“Jesus say behold I stand at the door of your heart if you open it I will come and eat with you.”

You see he really does want to be a part of your life, but the question is do you want him? I know I do, He never lets me down and He always loves me even when people stopped loving me, He is always the same.

With love Jim