Katy’s Story

As a child I was brought up to go to Sunday school. It didn’t really mean much to me, I could recite the books of the Bible or the Apostle’s Creed but I didn’t really understand much about the Bible.  I loved the stories Jesus told but I can’t say I enjoyed going to church or Sunday school.

When I was 8 my mother died. She had a major heart attack on Guy Fawks night the year before and had been in hospital for months, 6 weeks in the local hospital and 12 weeks in a Convalescent Home. I got taken to visit her on my birthday 23^rd December 1961, but I wasn’t allowed in to see her, because at 8 I was too young, you had to be 12. Anyway she eventually came home and life went back to some sort of normality.  Towards the end of the school holidays she died. I was sent away to stay with my grandmother because I was too young. Soon life went back to ‘normal’. Life was never the same for me though although I didn’t realise it until I was 48.

As a teenager I was rebellious and looking for love. I did a lot of things I now regret but some of the decisions I made then made me what I am today.

At 17 I met Alan, 2 years later we married, 6 years later our first son was born, then 2 years after then son number 2 arrived.

In 1984 I began to look for something in my life, I didn't know what it was, I just knew I didn't have it. I started with sport, running, swimming, weight training, aerobics etc. But these did not give me any real fulfilment. This made me start thinking and looking at my life. I had a good husband, 2 wonderful children (well at that time they were) a nice home, what more could anyone ask for.

I knew there was something in my life not there that should be, but didn't know what it was.  I was invited to a ladies coffee club. While at the coffee club I met a lot of interesting people, Anna, the chairperson, being one of them. My sister, Mary, came along for moral support. This led to two things.

Firstly we started going to the evening service in our childhood church.

Secondly we were invited along to another Ladies night at the Pentecostal church. Four months after I started attending these meetings Anna, stood up to give her testimony (she told how she had become a Christian and how God is real and answers prayer). That night after I went home I prayed that if God was real he would come into my life and take away the emptiness within it. Nothing appeared to happen (I didn't wake up with either horns or a halo). But gradually I realised I had changed. 

My husband also noticed a difference. All that has happened to me detailed below, so far, have all happened through my faith in Jesus. Don't let me mislead you, life has not all been easy, things have happened in my personal life to make me ask a lot of questions, but my faith in Christ has never once been doubted. My husband had a terminal brain tumour (Glio Blastoma Multiforme) this slowly day by day destroyed him. If it had not been for my faith I would probably have been an alcoholic by now as life was meaningless before.

In 1988 I went back to school to be educated (because the first time around I didn't want to know).  So for the next two years I studied at my old school Larbert High School:  English, History, Religious Studies and Film and Media.  Once I had achieved this feat, I was admitted to Stirling University, where I studied yet again, for a degree in Religious Studies and English.  I graduated in 1993 and within a few weeks I missed the company of my fellow students.  So I enrolled at Falkirk college to do an H.N.C. in Business Information Management.  Again I enjoyed the camaraderie but this time it was only 1 day a week.  So at 39 I took a job, with Manpower Employment Agency.

I worked in various posts until I was required to be at home.  Prior to going on holiday my Father-in-law was diagnosed as having a tumour on his bladder. This meant he required a course of Radiotherapy. While we were on holiday in France Andrew, my son, broke his arm, he was 13 at the time. While still on holiday my best friend, Joyce, died of Leukaemia, she was 39.  Two months after this, my mother-in-law was diagnosed as having terminal cancer. So for the next 5 months I was nursing a mother-in-law who had terminal cancer and a father-in-law who was still suffering from the effects of Radiotherapy, they were aged 79 and 82 respectively. Life was tough.

My mother-in-law died in February 1996, 5 months later, and my father-in-law took the loss very badly, which is only to be expected when you have been together as long as they had (46 years).  Every day I would go and visit him sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, just to make sure he had someone to talk to.  As time went by he became use to the silence, I wouldn't say he liked it but got used to it.

I thought it was time I took another job, so I went back to Manpower.  My doctor said time to stop working, because of my own failing health.  I couldn't sit still for very long before looking for something to do, so I joined the Citizens Advice Bureau (C.A.B.) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. A vacancy arose for a job share Deputy Manager, for which I was selected. A few months after this I went on a course for Benefit Representation as a result of which I represented clients at Social Security Tribunals. This was good, it was something I really enjoyed, winning some and losing some. In 1999 I went on another course, this time to be a Course Tutor.  I took a leave of absence from the CAB to care for him at home.  Then in April 2001 Alan was diagnosed with his brain tumour.  Alan had brain surgery in May 2001 and when he was in theatre his father died. 

The next 16 months were filled with a mixture hope and despair.  Alan’s condition fluctuated, Radiotherapy took its toll on him and the tumour didn’t shrink as much as they had hoped. He developed Epilepsy, which was very debilitating to him. He then started Chemotherapy which made him feel worse especially when his blood was affected. Alan decided that he had had enough. He didn’t want any more treatment and he wanted me to let him go to his Lord.

Alan passed away on the 28^th of August 2002.  I was fairly calm and as we had had time we organised his funeral before he died, it was held on a dull grey Tuesday morning on 3^rd September2002. The church was packed with over 500 friends and colleagues.

During the latter part of Alan’s illness I had taken to going into internet chat rooms.  I found them a great means of talking to people and finding comfort and strength.  On the 27^th September I started chatting to this man. I found him easy to talk to.  However the following day I was going to a wedding and then off to Malta for 2 weeks holiday.  We exchanged mobile phone numbers.  That man was Jim.  We spoke every day while I was away, and yes my bill was horrendous. After I came home he came to Scotland to visit me and we got on like a house on fire.  No I hadn’t forgotten Alan, but I needed someone like Jim who was a friend to help me through the dark days ahead. Our friendship grew, and love blossomed and we got engaged in February and married on May 3^rd 2003.